Manoj Bajpayee On Suicide: Actor expressed pain, he used to think about suicide, friends saved his life

Bollywood actor Manoj Bajpayee is one of the finest actors in the industry. He has given many great films in his career. Manoj Bajpayee has done a lot to reach the place where he is today. Manoj Bajpayee also made his debut as an outsider. He had no godfather in the film industry. But on the strength of his work, he collected his coin in the industry. During an interview recently, Manoj made many shocking revelations and told how he too was about to commit suicide. 

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“I’m a farmer’s son; I grew up in a village in Bihar with 5 siblings–we went to a hut school. We led a simple life, but whenever we went to the city, we’d go to the theatre. I was a Bachchan fan & wanted to be like him. At 9, I knew acting was my destiny. But I couldn’t afford to dream & continued my studies. Still, my mind refused to focus on anything else, so at 17, I left for DU. There, I did theatre but my family had no idea. Finally, I wrote a letter to dad–he wasn’t angry & even sent me Rs.200 to cover my fees! People back home called me ‘good for nothing’ but I turned a blind eye. I was an outsider, trying to fit in. So, I taught myself English & Hindi–Bhojpuri was a big part of how I spoke. I then applied to NSD, but was rejected thrice. I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me & not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted. That year, I was at a chai shop when Tigmanshu came looking for me on his khatara scooter–Shekhar Kapur wanted to cast me in Bandit Queen! So I felt I was ready & moved to Mumbai. Initially, it was tough–I rented a chawl with 5 friends & looked for work, but got no roles. Once, an AD tore my photo & I’ve lost 3 projects in a day. I was even told to ‘get out’ after my 1st shot. I didn’t fit the ideal ‘hero’ face–so they thought I’d never make it to the big screen. All the while, I struggled to make rent & at times even a vada pav was costly. But the hunger in my stomach couldn’t dissuade my hunger to succeed. After 4 years of struggle, I got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. I got Rs.1500 per episode–my first steady income. My work was noticed & I was offered my first Bollywood film & soon, I got my big break with ‘Satya’. That’s when the awards rolled in. I bought my first house & knew…I was here to stay. 67 films later, here I am. That’s the thing about dreams–when it comes to turning them into reality, the hardships don’t matter. What matters is the belief of that 9-year-old Bihari boy & nothing else.” — HOB with @sonylivindia brings to you the story of Manoj Bajpayee, whose life has come full circle. To watch his award winning performance in Bhonsle, click on the link in bio!

A post shared by Humans of Bombay (@officialhumansofbombay) on

Manoj Bajpayee recently shared the story of his struggle on the Instagram page titled ‘Humans of Bombay’. In this post, he wrote, ‘I am the son of a farmer. I grew up in a village in Bihar. I had five siblings. We used to go to the hut school. Lived a very simple life but whenever we went to the city we would go to the theater. I was a fan of Bachchan and wanted to be like him. ‘

He further wrote, ‘When I was 9 years old I realized that acting is my destination. But I could not afford to dream and I continued my studies. But my mind could not focus on anything else, then at the age of 17, I went to Delhi University. I did theater there but my family had no idea. Finally I wrote a letter to my father, he did not get angry but sent me 200 rupees as fee.

Manoj further wrote, ‘The family used to think that I was of no use. But I blindfolded all these things. I was an outsider, trying to fit in between. I learned to speak Hindi and English and Bhojpuri was my language. After that I tried for NSD. But was rejected three times. I was thinking of suicide, my friends supported me a lot. He started sleeping with me and would see that I was fine. Till I was adopted by this industry, everyone stayed with me.  

He further completed his talk, writing, ‘I was not an ideal hero face. Everyone thought that I was not fit to appear on the big screen because my face was not a hero. There was no money to pay the rent of the house and at that time Vadapav used to feel expensive. But, I had a hunger to be successful. Four years later I got a break. In Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. Used to get 1500 rupees for an episode. It was my first earning. My work was recognized and then I got my first film in Bollywood, ‘Satya’.

Let us tell you that Manoj Bajpayee did many films including ‘Satya’, ‘Aligarh’, ‘Politics’, ‘Satyagraha’, ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’ in his career. These films brought a different identity to Manoj. 


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